It's time to make a decision

I have really struggled with weight loss lately. I realized that in the last 3-4 months I've gained an average of 3 pounds each month. Aarrrgh! That's a nightmare! I've been trying to figure out what the difference has been compared to when I was losing weight during the first half of the year. I think there are a few factors but the main one is my commitment level. Then, I was so committed to losing weight that I resisted cheating most of the time and when I did cheat, I only ate a small portion. Now, even though I have many "good" days in which I make good food choices I also have many binge days where I just lose control and eat a lot of "bad" food. As I was losing weight I realized this difference. I was thinking about food in a different way and I found that I was able to have a few bites of something fattening that I really wanted and then finish the day out with better food choices. Now, I find that if I indulge at lunch or even earlier sometimes, I'm much less likely to control my eating the rest of the day. Actually, whatever time it is that I say to myself, "This one thing won't hurt," I end up ruining that day eating all kinds of fattening foods.

I think this all just comes down to making a real decision to commit to this lifestyle. I think I'm getting closer to that but maybe not quite yet. I thought I was ready and then this afternoon I lost control again. I just read an article about using a food journal to lose weight and I think that could be very helpful for me. I did do that for a while last winter and it did help. It's tedious but I think it's time. I can at least commit to that even if I can't quite commit to being really serious about a health program. Alright, step one--food journal. Let's see how it goes.

Enrichment Meeting

We had the annual December Enrichment meeting last night where we visit four different houses in the ward. It was fun and there was some excellent food. One house had a performance by a couple singing Christmas carols. Another house had a gingerbread house demonstration and we decorated our own gingerbread cookies. Yum! Sam Beeson was at another house and read his new book, Santa's First Flight. He is quite the character and that was fun. His book is really cute. He showed us another book coming out around Valentine's Day called the UnValentine or something like that. Funny! I'll have to watch for that one.


At the last house everyone gathered to have soup and chat. In church on Sunday I made a comment in RS and referred to Aaron's condition. I finally have decided it's time to just let everyone know. We've been a little hesitant to just talk about it to everyone in the past and I decided that time was past. So last night, a few people asked me some questions about Aaron and it was so nice to just be able to talk about it freely to everyone. It feels good and I feel free. I think when I'm able to talk to people about it and hear their reactions it helps me to not worry as much.

Doing dishes

Last night Nathan (4 years old) and I were loading the dishwasher. He asked me, "Does the water go all over inside there?" I said, "Yes, it does." He then said, "Oh, I wish I was a dish."

Thank goodness for ipods!

I did it. I ran my 9 miles and I did it at the rec center on the indoor track--the track you have to run around 13 times to go one mile. I don't think I could have done it without the ipod. I listened to an audio book while I ran and it made all the difference. I didn't actually count the laps, I just ran for 90 minutes and I'm pretty sure I got in at least 9 miles, maybe closer to 10. The reason I had to run on the indoor track is because we woke up to a couple of inches of snow and it was still snowing. Some very dedicated runners may run in snow on slushy roads but I'm not one of them.

I felt strong as I ran and it made me excited for the marathon again. SLC Marathon here I come!