Ever since our first child started trick-or-treating we have let the kids pick out some of their favorite candies and collect the rest of the candy and put it in a large bowl on top of the fridge. We like to encourage the kids to share with each other and it's also a way that Mom and Dad can have some candy, too. :) As we were talking about this tradition this morning, Mr. Dad made the comment that it's kind of a socialist thing to do. Then I said that if we allowed the kids to eat their candy at their own rate then they would be able to have control and if they work hard at controlling themselves then their candy could last a lot longer. Thus, they would be rewarded when they still had candy and the other siblings don't because they couldn't control themselves well, i.e. capitalism. It was a big light bulb moment for me. Are we teaching our kids to be socialists by trying to make everything "even"?
I may be stretching this metaphor too far and over thinking things, but what do you think? How do you handle Halloween candy? Are you a socialist or capitalist?
9 comments:
Life isn't fair. And it's our own choices on how we deal with that. I wouldn't go out of my way to make sure they feel equal. The faster they learn that, the faster they stop complaining aobut it and move on with life.
Wow, do I sound jaded or what?
I let them each eat at their own rate. According to that one Covey guy (7 habits of highly whatever), kids will share naturally if they first feel ownership of their things. This has proven true for Damon after age 4. Forcing to share has yet to work for me.
What a community bowl of candy...as I child I would be like, NO WAY!!! I'm keeping my hard earned candy! But, as a parent, I like the community bowl!
But, yeah, I'd just let them keep their own candy.
Teach/encourage them to share develops generosity. Forcing them to share breeds resentment/entitlement.
And I think our country needs more people who are generous than people who feel entitled to a handout.
My two cents, coming from a non parent.
Luckily, Abigail just shares her candy with us and I don't have to have a community bowl...yet. I'm pretty sure we will just let her keep her candy and hope she shares without being forced to share. I agree with the other comments that if you force them they will resent it and won't learn to accept consequences for their actions (if they eat it all quickly and the others still have candy left). Life lessons from Halloween candy...I love it!
big bowl, on top of the fridge.
I have never thought of that since I haven't experienced that yet. Hmmmm...this is a conundrum. Kids usually don't have much control and eat it all in one sitting and then get sick. Yet, you still do want to teach generosity and self control. I don't know. Good luck!
I too had never thought of this dilemma. I definitely am NOT going to extremes to make things fair. Although, I am a candy guru, so if my kids aren't sharers, I may have to force some "give mom candy" rules.
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